I knew I was going to miss my connecting flight. Still, I sprinted through one of the world’s largest airports to get to my departure gate. As predicted, I was too late and put on the stand-by list for a flight three hours later.
As I sat at my new gate, tired from a weekend of ministry, I noticed an unfriendly ticket agent who never quite made eye contact with anyone, even people speaking directly to her. The wrinkles on her face and the gray in her hair made me imagine that she had experienced frustrated and angry travelers for many years. As person after person sought her help, her demeanor never changed.
Fast-forward three hours. They had a seat for me. As I was gathering my things and got in line to board the plane, I noticed that the same gloomy lady from earlier was responsible for scanning the passengers’ boarding passes. When it was my turn, to my surprise she asked, “How are you tonight?” Over the previous three hours, I had begun to feel a bit sorry for myself and so I took her question as an opportunity to express just how I was feeling. “I am absolutely exhausted,” I confessed. I was hoping my response would elicit some comforting words like, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I hope you get some rest on your flight home.” Instead, as she reached for the next person’s ticket, and without even looking at me, she replied in a stern tone, “Well so am I, but I guess we’re going to have to tough it out, aren’t we?”
As I walked down the tunnel toward the plane, I was stunned at how unkind that response seemed. But then, as I settled into my seat and reflected a few minutes, I realized that she was absolutely right — I needed to stop being such a selfish wimp! Though I didn’t enjoy her admonishment, it was exactly what I needed.
Admonishment in the Bible
Pastors are to have a similar ministry toward their people, minus the unkindness. According to Paul in First Thessalonians 5:12, a characteristic of elders is that they “admonish” those under their care, warning and correcting their church members with Scripture. And not only pastors, but all believers are at times required to admonish one another (see 1 Thessalonians 5:14). Scripture isn’t always meant to comfort us. Sometimes it addresses us in our pride, or when we are thinking incorrectly, or behaving sinfully.
Responding Well
Toward the end of a ministry trip to Ethiopia, I began to notice an unbiblical pattern in the lives of the believers in one church: each time I arrived at the church building, they didn’t greet me with a holy kiss. This was very surprising because in all other venues in that country (as far as I’ve experienced), even in secular contexts, they greet one another with not only a handshake and sometimes a hug, but also touching cheeks, sometimes multiple times, and often actual pecks on the cheeks. But once within the church building, these typically friendly believers entered into what appeared to be their own private worship experience. Warm greetings were absent.
Prayerfully, I decided to admonish this church. I calmly said something like, “There’s something that I have noticed in your lives that needs to be corrected.” The gathering of about 100 got very still, and people sat up even more than usual. They were eager to hear what I had to say. I first reminded them about the Apostle Paul’s exhortations to greet each other with a holy kiss. I expressed to them how I didn’t see that happening when they gathered together. I mentioned the importance of “love” in the church, and how it is expressed through simple actions like greetings. I also reflected on the importance of showing Christ-like love toward one another so that unbelievers will know we are Christians. I even shared that on that particular day, not a single believer had greeted me. Shock appeared on some faces.
How did they respond? It was wonderful. As soon as I was done teaching, the people flooded the aisle to greet me, especially the older ladies! Two very old ladies must have kissed me 20 times on each cheek! It was a beautiful, perfect response to a fairly hard-hitting admonishment.
Yes, we need to be comforted with biblical truth, but we also need to be warned and corrected — even rebuked. Beware of shrinking back when the “heat” comes. Avoid complaining or being overly sensitive. Instead, lean in, listen to the Lord’s word even when it’s exposing darkness, and then humble yourself and repent and respond as eagerly and as quickly as our brothers and sisters in Africa.