When my parents were first married, they started looking for a church to attend. They told me about an experience they had at a particular church “in town.” It was a smaller congregation (perhaps 30-40 people). Upon arrival, nobody greeted them. They then sat through the uninspiring service. If I’m remembering correctly, they were mostly alone on a pew. Perhaps there was an older couple way down at the end. People were quiet throughout the meeting. Everyone was then very eager to leave quickly. Once again, no one uttered a word to my folks on the way out. They never returned to that church.
Your church may not be as inhospitable and unengaged as what I just described, but there is probably room for improvement. Here are three actions you can take and one you can encourage that will bring warmth and joy to your meetings almost immediately.
First, come early and greet others kindly. The idea here is not only to “greet one another with a holy kiss” (kissing is not required; the warm reception of others is the point), but also to arrive early enough to do this multiple times. It will raise the love temperature in the church.
We used to have a young man from Ethiopia in our fellowship. I’ve been with him multiple times in Ethiopia, and there they not only still greet with a holy kiss (the cheek-to-cheek type), but do so in abundance! Well, you can take the Ethiopian out of Ethiopia, but you can’t take Ethiopian greeting habits out of the Ethiopian! This young man would arrive at our church meetings and would not sit down until he had personally greeted as many people as possible — usually everyone! To this day, people talk about it and miss his loving hellos. His welcoming, friendly spirit brought joy to many and had a way of disarming people, reminding us of the primacy of love among God’s people.
Second, communicate with your voice and body that you are engaged. I once attended a Bible conference with three pastors who sang so enthusiastically, I almost couldn’t help but join them in their fervor. It didn’t matter how good (or bad) their voices were. They were enthralled with the truth we were singing, and their posture and volume showed it. I’m sure I was not the only one energized by these brothers.
You can have a similar influence in your church’s gatherings, whether it’s eager participation in the singing or engaged listening during the teaching (sitting up, responding to questions, offering an appropriate “amen,” etc.). You will not only encourage your leaders, but this kind of behavior is contagious and prone to spread among God’s people.
Third, stick around afterward and interact intentionally. This is similar to arriving early and greeting people, but now you have some additional subjects to discuss. Find that person or family who was prayed for, let them know you will be praying for them this week, and ask if there is anything else you can pray about. Talk to the person next to you about something convicting or interesting in the message. Inquire with the family that was gone the past two Sundays about how their vacation went. Chat with some youth in the church about their schooling and what they’ve been learning in their youth gatherings. You get the idea. Instead of trying to be interesting to others, be the most interested person in the body!
Finally, there is something the whole group can do that has a way of bringing life and joy to a meeting: sit all together up front. In almost every church meeting in a building I have ever attended, people tend to sit toward the back and middle first, and only make it to the front if there are no other seats. Often, there are massive gaps between people sprinkled around the sanctuary like little islands. I’ve occasionally had the freedom as a guest speaker to ask people to gather together at the front. Sometimes just one section of the sanctuary is all that is needed to get everybody together. Each time I’ve done that, what happens almost immediately (after perhaps a few grumbles) is that people wake up a bit, smile at one another, start interacting, and seem more engaged during the teaching. Why not do this every Sunday? Why not be like that group of ladies at a church near my childhood home who happily sit together in the front row every Sunday, sing robustly, and follow along closely during the message — ready to hear the voice of Christ and respond with worship and obedience?
The “front to back” seating mentality won’t happen in a single Sunday, but it can start with you. And wouldn’t it be easy to say to some friends or another family, “Come on up here and join us.” They probably will. Soon, others will nestle in beside you. Watch how the atmosphere changes, even in a small church.